The Hook

O.k. so I am sure there were some of you that read my post last week and scoffed at the fact that I said the synopsis would only take a couple of days to complete. A little heads up would have been nice!!

I spent two days and have now whittled it down to 700 words. I am partially happy that it covers the main plot of the story now, but I am not convinced an editor will love it. I’ve read some authors who have said the synopsis is the hardest part in writing. I can see why they say that, but at the end of the day, you are writing about the story you know inside out. For me, it is just a case of tinkering with it until it feels right (get your minds out of the gutter people). Having said that, what do I know? I haven’t sent anything off yet.

The other headache is the submission letter. This traditionally is made up of 3 parts:

1)      The hook

2)      Description of the book

3)      Author bio.

Today I have been focussing on the hook. After all, this is the part that needs to grab the editor’s attention. There are numerous websites that offer advice on the hook. Some of them are excellent but all agree there is no willing formula. I think the best way to learn what makes a good hook is to see what is out there. Below I have listed some “hooks” used by the best selling fantasy authors in recent years. I have also made a note of how many words they have used in the description of their book:

Robin Hobb – Assassin’s Apprentice - Fitz is a royal bastard, cast out into the world with only his magical link with animals for solace and companionship. 112 words

Joe Abercrombie – The Blade itself - Inquisitor Glokta, a crippled and increasingly bitter relic of the last war, former fencing champion turned torturer extraordinaire, is trapped in a twisted and broken body - not that he allows it to distract him from his daily routine of torturing smugglers. 208 words

Scott Lynch – The Lies of Lock Lamorra - They say that the Thorn of Camorr can beat anyone in a fight. They say he steals from the rich and gives to the poor. They say he's part man, part myth, and mostly street-corner rumor. And they are wrong on every count. Only averagely tall, slender, and god-awful with a sword, Locke Lamora is the fabled Thorn, and the greatest weapons at his disposal are his wit and cunning. 234 words

Patrick Rothfuss – The Name of the Wind - 'I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. 168 words

Mark C Newton – Nights of Villjamur - An ice age strikes a chain of islands, and thousands come to seek sanctuary at the gates of Villjamur: a city of ancient spires and bridges, a place where banshees wail the deceased, cultists use forgotten technology for their own gain and where, further out, the dead have been seen walking across the tundra. 185 words

Brent Weeks – The Way of Shadows - The perfect killer has no friends. Only targets. 117 words

Below is the description I have had for the Ritual of the stones since the book began:

Rob Donovan – Ritual of the Stones – Every 12 years the Ritual of the Stones takes place. 12 people are selected and one is sacrificed to the Gloom, a shadowy creature that haunts Frindoth.

When Rhact learns that his daughter has been selected to take part in the Ritual, he takes his family and flees. In doing everything he can to protect his family, Rhact has no idea of the repercussions of his actions.

Elsewhere, in the city of Lilyon, King Jacquard struggles to maintain peace and order over the Kingdom. A growing number of factions seek to take advantage of the Ritual and claim the Kingdom for themselves.

The destiny of the Kingdom relies on the Order, a group of powerful beings, but even amongst their ranks deception and betrayal emerges. For Marybeth believes she has discovered a way to defeat the Gloom, a secret the Order may not want to get out. 

Through the lives of these three individuals, the ballad of Frindoth begins.

Rather bland isn’t it? I am happy with the content of most of the description but the hook is definitely the weakest part and needs addressing. I have also added the last 2 lines. Marybeth is quite a big character in the book and yet I don’t even mention her in the blurb!

Below is my next attempt. It conveys the same message but is a little more punchier.

2) The Ritual of the Stones is once again upon Frindoth. Twelve years have past since the Gloom claimed its last sacrificial victim and now it is the time has come for the ritual to decide who will be next.
I am also toying with the idea of this one:

3) Twelve years have past since the Gloom claimed its last sacrificial victim and now once again it is time for the Ritual of the Stones. From all over Frindoth, twelve unfortunate souls will be selected and one will be offered to the Gloom.

Or even this:

4) For as long as the history texts can recall the Ritual of the Stones has taken place in Frindoth. It is always the same, every twelve years; twelve people are selected to be sacrificed to the Gloom.
I’d love to know which one you prefer. What one would make you want to read on?

ROTS - Finally completed

February the 9^th. In the words of Lord Vader, “It will be a day long remembered.” Finally after almost 2 years of planning, writing and editing, Ritual of the stones is now complete.

I made the last editorial changes yesterday on the 4^th draft and formatted the manuscript ready to be sent out. Today and tomorrow I will compile the query letter and as from next week I will be approaching agents. I promise to post every single rejection notice I receive, no matter how humiliating the process gets. We all read about authors breaking into the market and experiencing hundreds of rejections, I don't know about you, I've always found that hard to imagine. Not that the rejections don't happen but how an author finds the strength to keep getting rejected. Therefore, I thought it will be useful for anyone following this blog as potential writers to see exactly how the process works. I intend to be quite open about my feelings and so hopefully people will be able to identify with the emotions when it happens to them.

I’ve done a lot of research on what makes a good query letter and so I hope this side of things won’t be too arduous.

It is surreal. After almost two years, it is only now that the whole thing seems real. I am actually attempting to become a bona fide author, putting myself out there to be shot down. Wish me luck!

On another note, I have just finished the first draft of a short story. It is based on the experience I endured last month but I have added a supernatural twist. I like it, I might submit it to critters after editing.

I have also had another short story accepted at, “The Fringe Magazine.” This is an online magazine who offer a token payment if they feature the story as their “story of the month.” It is another string to the bow and something I can mention in the query letter.

I will get you updated on how the rejections go.

Mood = Boyant

Books: January reading

January has come and gone. It has been a rather odd month. On the editing front things have been going well, on a personal front however, I had a rather traumatic experience in discovering the body of a suicide victim on the way to work. It really shook me up. The poor man had jumped from a hotel window and without being to gory or disrespectful, it wasn’t a pleasant thing to stumble across. I have a number of feelings on the matter but I think I will post them at a later stage, just in case by some miracle one of the visitors to this blog happens to know the victim.

Anyway, I enjoyed summarizing the books I read last year and so I thought I would continue to do it throughout this year as well. Each month I will list the books I have read and give some very brief thoughts on the book and my rating out of 10. I hope you enjoy it.

First up was Warriors, a compilation of short stories by various authors and edited by George R R Martin and Gardner Dozois. A lot of people have raved about how strong this collection of stories is so who am I to disagree? I started the book over the Christmas period and so maybe I did not do justice to some of the stories by not giving them my full attention. However, I did enjoy the book overall. There were some excellent stories in there, most notably from: Joe R Lansdale, Steven Saylor, James Rollins and probably the best of the bunch David Ball. Most of the other stories were very good, with only one or two being slow. Overall I gave the book 8.5.

The next book was a guilty pleasure. MEG: Primal waters by Steve Alten is the 3^rd in his series of books about the Megalodon shark (the massive prehistoric uncle of the great white). I stumbled upon this series when browsing through someone’s random list on Amazon. I thought it would be fun to read on holiday whilst lying in the sea. You get the idea, reading about a man eating shark whilst actually in the sea. What I didn’t expect was to enjoy the book so much, my wife is currently reading it and loving it to. Primal waters, is the best in the series so far. If you like James Rollins you will like these books. I rated it 8.9.

The 3^rd book I read was a return to one of my stable authors. You know the ones you return to on a regular basis. The author I’m talking about is Tess Gerritsen and the book was Keeping the Dead. It is part of her Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli series, which has been pretty consistent so far. This book was one of my favourite in the series, where several sub-plots all came together nicely. It reminded me of Harlan Coben’s standalone novels. I rated it 9.2

The final book I read in January was Dolores Clairbourn by Stephen King. King is one of my favourite authors and I am slowly going through his back catalogue. At first I really struggled with the style of the book. It is told from Dolores’s perspective as she gives an interview to the police. The unique part of the novel is that this is all that happens. Other characters are in the room with Dolores but we never hear them speak (although we knew they do as Dolores answers them from time to time). King never describes anything in the room either, there is no description of Dolores’s actions such as, “Dolores sat back and took a sip of the water.” The whole book is one diatribe. After a while I got used to the style and ended up thoroughly immersed in the story Dolores had to tell. King is so under appreciated by many despite his hordes of fans. I rated it 8.9.

I don’t think I will manage to read 4 books every month but I should average 3 at least. I would love to hear your thoughts on any of the titles above.

ROTS update

So it is the 17^th January and I thought it was about time I did one of those update thingy’s I am supposed to do far more regularly.

So far, January has been a very productive month. If my name was Stella, you would definitely say I have my groove back. I set myself a target at the start of the year to spend January doing the final edit of my novel. This would mainly consist of 3 areas:

1)      Getting rid of my passive voice and making my prose more active.

2)      Enhancing the motivations of a character I wasn’t happy with.

3)      Finding a way to make a plot point more plausible. Sort of a Meereenese knot if you will.

I figured that in regard to the first point, I have 20 chapters in my novel so if I edited a chapter a day then I would achieve my objective. So far we are just over half way through the month and I am halfway through the novel. “On track sir and with the end in sight, this bugger will not defeat us.” In case you are wondering what film that is from…it isn’t. It just came to me. (If it was from a film, I fear the flick would have been rather awful).

The better news is that I have succeeded in re-writing a chapter or two to sort out the motivation of the character in point 2 above. I have also written one brand new chapter and seriously altered another to make the plot point mentioned above far more plausible. This has been both rewarding and frustrating. Rewarding in that it was good to write some original material again and also meant I could insert an idea I had that I had been forced to cut, frustrating because I do not think the quality of that chapter is up to standard. The content is good but it does not flow. I will address that in a couple of day’s time though. For now, I will plough on with the line by line edits.

Update you all soon.

My 2010 book awards:

The Top 5 books I’ve read this year:

I did have the pictures in my original post but they seemed to have disappeared.

1. Robert McCammon - Swan Song

I discovered Robert McCammon only last year when I read, “Speaks the Nightbird”, the first in the excellent Matthew Corbett series. I immediately read the sequel and also read, “Boy’s Life.” All three books I enjoyed immensely.

However, none were as great as, “Swan Song.” My first Stephen King book was, “the Stand” and whether it is nostalgic reasons or not, I still rank it up there as one of King’s best books. Even though looking back I remember hating the ending. Swan Song surpasses the Stand in every respect. There are moments in the book where I genuinely had tingles on the back of my neck. It is the first book in a very long while, where I have been so immersed in the story that I have forgotten where I was on my bus journey home. One chapter even saw me going intentionally past my stop to finish it – “All Hail Lord Alvin!”

Swan Song is one of those rare books that is told from multiple viewpoints and you never groan when you leave one character to join another. All of the characters are strong. In short it is a joy to read.

2. Excalibur - Bernard Cornwell


This year me saw me read the final book of three great trilogies. The best of these was the final book in the Warlord Chronicles. Excalibur is as close to perfect as a book gets. It wraps up everything in a satisfying manner. It has deaths that are moving and memorable and the characters stay true to themselves. I cannot recommend this trilogy enough. The only reason it did not take top spot was because it had the advantage of concluding two excellent books before it. I have subsequently gone out and bought a lot of Cornwell’s work as a result of this trilogy.



3. Troy: Fall of Kings - David and Stella Gemmell

This is the second of my completed trilogies. Unfortunately David Gemmell passed away when he was writing this book and his wife Stella took over. She does a remarkable job of working from his notes to the extent where you do not notice the transition. Again, the plot points are all tied up in a satisfying manner. The best thing about this book (as with Cornwell above) is the Gemmell’s have taken a well known story and flipped elements of it on its head. The changes are often brilliant and in most cases more plausible to the reader, highly recommended.



4. The Pillars of the Earth - Ken Follett 

This is frequently referred to as the greatest book in modern times. Whilst I wouldn’t go that far, I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it. If it wasn’t for reading such a strong list of books this year, it could have been easily number 1. Who would have thought that a story about a cathedral could be so exciting? Some say the villains are too cartoonish, but I disagree. They are all plausible and it is refreshing to read about a villain who is just and out and out evil scumbag. The vogue is for the villain’s to have shades of grey or redeeming features. Sometimes you just want your villain to be mean. A great book and an epic in every sense.

5. Under the Dome - Stephen King 

I went back and forth over which book should occupy the fifth spot. In truth it could have been one of 4 or 5 books that I really enjoyed, but did not quite reach the level of the top 4. I opted for King as no one does characters like him. I loved this book and like many of his books, some people have a problem with the ending. I disagree, I really liked the idea behind why the Dome is in place (at least you find out). Honourable mentions:

The Passage – Justin Cronin. Justin Cronin’s debut is really as good as the hype. The first third is fantastic and it only misses out on the top 5 as it suffers slightly in the middle when he decides to change everything.

Last Argument of Kings – Joe Abercrombie. It surprised me when compiling this list that I did not include this book. It is the third of the great trilogies I mentioned above and really deserves the accolades it receives. Again, another year it might have been higher.

Blood Harvest – S J Bolton. This is a thriller set in a rural town in England. My other great love in reading is the crime genre. For some reason I don’t talk about it as much, but this was the best of a strong year. Although I am reading John Connolly who is one of my favourites and that book potentially could easily make the list.

Best find:

This award goes to the author I have discovered or eventually got around to reading, depending on your point of view. The award goes to Jim Butcher. I read, “Storm Front” the first in the Harry Dresden series. It is fast paced, fun and I already know it will be a series I will be reading more of in 2011.

Most anticipated book of 2011:



This one is a no brainer really. I can’t comprehend the length of time it has taken to write this book but then I also don’t have a problem with it. George has said he will make an announcement at some conference or other around January 8th. He will have a death wish if this is anything but to say the book is completed and when it will be out. I predict he will say the book is done on Christmas Day and then the announcement in January will be to state when it will be released.

Have a great Christmas all and I will post soon.

Books: On James Patterson

I was around 18 and at University. I had taken a summer job to subsidize my drinking during the term time at my uncle’s air conditioning firm. It was also a time when I didn’t really read. A girl I was fooling around with recommended a book called, “Along came a spider.” As a young lad and eager to impress I duly obliged.

I was delighted I gave it a go. In Alex Cross I had found a cool detective that I didn’t know existed in literature (I have subsequently realised there are far better ones out there). In Gary Soneji there was the type of villain I loved. In short the book was fast paced with a good story. I was hooked. The short chapters gave way to the very definition of the term page turners.

As the months progressed, I devoured the next couple of books. I will never forget that summer doing air conditioning. It was a time where internet was not common place and so when I was strolling through Covent Garden on the way to a job in the Lyceum theatre and saw a board in a bookshop that read, “Roses are Red by James Patterson” coming soon, I punched the air in delight. God I miss those days when you didn’t know when a book was coming out – you only get that with George R R Martin these days!

A weekend job in WHSmiths had me looking forward to the book catalogue to see when the next book was coming out. Patterson led me to other authors: Mo Hayder, Mark Billingham, Harlan Coben, Karin Slaughter, Tess Gerritsen etc. All of which I now regularly read. (John Connolly I discovered in a unique way, which I will talk about some time).

Thrillers were my thing way before Fantasy. Usually it is the other way round but I’ve always been a geek at heart. As the amount of books I read increased so did my knowledge of the authors. Suddenly James Patterson had two books out a year, and then three and then four. His name was always on the cover but other names joined him. I still bought every book but the stories were hit and miss. The woman’s murder club started off fantastic and then by the time I read the “5th Horseman,” I half enjoyed it and I was half disgusted with how lazy the writing was.

I was actually half way through the “Lifeguard” before I realised I had already read it. I was appalled at how frequently the books were coming out and how hit and miss they were. At least he was still writing the Alex Cross series by himself I reconciled. However, even these were starting to take a dip. “London Bridges” was woeful in comparison to the others.

I was torn between ditching him all together and remaining loyal. After all he was the author that kick-started my reading interests again. In the end I decided to just read his Alex Cross books which were written solely by him and released once a year. This worked well, when I read them it was like meeting an old friend. The weak writing didn’t matter so much and instead I remembered why I liked him in the first place.

Which brings me in a rather long winded fashion on to his latest book – Cross Fire. THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW.
I was really enjoying this book. I did enjoy the book in fact. After a number of recent books in the series where his arch enemy Kyle Craig would randomly pop up and threaten Alex, we at last get the showdown. Kyle “the Mastermind” Craig completely alters his appearance of Max Siegel, so he can work alongside Alex. Sounds silly I know, but it actually made for an interesting dynamic between the two. The plot unfolds and Kyle as usual is always one step ahead of Alex.

The scenes where they interact are well done and we get a very interesting conversation between the two over whether or not Alex would shoot Kyle give the chance. Alex replies “no,” but you know the time when he will have to make the decision for real is going to happen.

This is where the book falls down and I lost a little more respect for James Patterson. From book one, the Cross family have remained intact, even adding to their ranks. On no occasion have any of them been killed by any of the villains that have had a personal grudge on Alex. The series is crying out for such a death. Nana Mama is 92, surely her time has come? I loved her at the start of the series but her interaction with Alex is so repetitive. Every book she scolds him and tells him to lay off his work and think about his family. Every book, Alex says he will and then doesn’t.

Kyle Craig has been built up for a number of books now and it was an ideal time to kill of a major character. Does this happen? Of course not and this really irked me. Instead the so called “Mastermind” falls for one of the oldest tricks in the book and is easily dispatched. To add insult to injury, the last pages of the book mentions the return of Mr. Smith another villain we have already seen and thought dead. Who cares? He is not going to kill anyone significant. It will also be the third time a villain has re-emerged in the series.

Having said that, I enjoyed the book apart from the conclusion. The dynamic between Kyle Craig and Alex was good. The random appearance of Christine was intriguing although did not go anywhere.

Will I read the next one? You bet ya, and I will probably moan about that one as well. Hypocrite that I am.

Book 2:

I'm still waiting for a friend to conclude their in depth editing on the first book. They only have ten chapters left and each chapter they have gone through has been invaluable. Unfortunately, I seem to be treading water. I'm still without the internet at home, but now am itching to get on with the writing again.

With that in mind, this week I carried out a chapter outline for the first quarter of the second book. I have been agonizing over this for quite a while. I have known the general story of the second book almost from the moment I concluded the first. I have also been desperate to begin writing it. However, what has surprised me is how difficult it is to link books one and two.

In terms of timelines, the second book continues straight after the events of the first and therein lies the difficulty. Every character I write about needs to do a bit of reflection over what has gone on at the end of first book. I need to find away to do this with out it being boring for me to write and painstakingly tedious for the reader. I guess in terms of the reader, in many cases if the book does get published, then the reflection will be good as it might well be a full year before they read the second book and will serve as a useful summary of the events.

Still it does not alter the fact that it is boring to write. Of course not every character needs to reflect on screen as it were. Some could have already done it and mention it in passing. It is choosing who reflects and who doesn't and how I make it interesting that is the problem. The chapter outline has helped focus a bit more, but I guess the only way to see how well I can do this, is to just dive in and see what happens.

So with snorkelling gear at the ready, I'm going in.